Hey, so it’s been a minute. Friends have asked if I’ve updated the blog lately. Unfortunately, as it turns out, taking your life apart and putting it back together is much harder than it seems. Spontaneous deadlifts, solo trips to new continents and dying your hair can help make it fun, though.
For anyone who’s asked me a question about anything in my life for the last year, you must be sick of hearing me talk about the Unicorn Project. The last time I was half as passionate, I created a blog. Here we are, 6 years and 101 posts later. Regardless, I’m tired of talking about Unicorns without action, too.
In one particular chat with an acquaintance/friend in the industry, I explained the premise of creating a dating solution. In response, he smiled, genuinely, and asked a few tough questions. Finally, the toughest question of all. Do I have a boyfriend? How are people supposed to trust me with their dating life if I didn’t have a successful relationship? As much as I wanted to defend myself, he had a point.
After months of intense contemplation, I have the short answer: I hope that people want to trust me because I love, love so much that my legitimate dream job was to become a wedding planner. Because, at my best, I’m a 'social thermophile.' Because, my idea of fun is investing 5,000 hours in personal development. Seriously though, that’s just the short version, surfaced using a chatGPT generated python script to summarize of months of soul searching. Somewhere along the way, I learned that there’s something equally as important as love, and pivotal to ability to sustain love itself. That’s evolution.
These two pillars, love and career, represent my life's two overarching behavioral goals: falling in love with the person I marry, also known as finding my Unicorn who keeps his horn, and pursuing my career to the fullest extent, also known as the Unicorn Project. Unicorns are mechanisms to inspire me to continue to push the boundaries of the human experience. Anyway, I said that I’m tired of talking about it. I meant it.
In fulfilling my outstanding childhood dreams, another mechanism of execution, the next step is to write a book, and continue on the journey to find the right Unicorn. I’m happy to compromise on the order and relative timelines. However, these are processes that I will enjoy. From hatching the book idea until now, I couldn't help reading and writing nonstop. As it turns out, if you read 36 books and write 280 pages in under a year, there's an opportunity cost. In this case, the opportunity cost was pursuing the social life I was so excited to restore, among other things.
How would you explain that you’re dreaming up how to legitimately, become a matchmaker? Shouldn’t you disclose writing a book, when it's about the reasons that people might consider trusting you with their dating life? Or personal development? I'm inclined to say yes, but based on my track record, what do I know?
Throughout my adult life and until 2024, my main catalyst for non-professional growth was giving 182 people a chance, and moving on from 12 heartbreaks. I have no idea how to make that sound normal or casual, because I'm told that it's not. For the record, I'm generally open, and interested in feedback, as long as it's constructive, sincere, and shared with positive intent. One more thing about those heartbreaks. They weren't all people that I was involved with romantically. While few were, the heartbreaks that leave the deepest scars are the friends lost, and especially friends hurt. Blame me, tell me how naive I am, but I refuse to apologize for wanting to see the best in others, and not to give each person a chance. Besides, dating as an woman is hard, especially when you're ambitious to a fault. Before I get passionately distracted yet again, I didn't intend for the 182 chances or 12 heartbreaks to be part of my narrative at all. That doesn't mean I allow myself to have regrets, either. No matter what, I continue to embrace Rule #0: L is for Learning. As I share parts of the narrative that I'm not necessarily proud of, including the writing itself, I promise to live by Rule #0.
Last December, I was afraid to be single. In April, I committed to be single for six months. The first six months were a challenge. However, after the first six months, not only did I began to appreciate my single status, but I cherished and embraced it so much that I started to lose touch with what matters most to me. Unicorns.
So, I did what I had to do. I took my life apart, piece by piece, as if it was a LEGO puzzle cube. Then I began to put it back together, piece by piece. Honestly, I'm still working on both the LEGO cube and my life through trial and error. Trial and error is how most writing happens. My main takeaway, otherwise known as my main L, is to never underestimate the power of the editing process. With this in mind, I'll continue to post chapter drafts as they become available. This way, I won't have to shamefully tell my friends that I haven't posted, or struggle through my jumbled thoughts more than already necessary. Ideally, I'll no longer need a Python script to navigate my own writing, or to help me recognize myself. As always, my primary goal in sharing to remain accountable for my own growth.
As I step back into dating, several of my friends observe that I've become so logical that I appear to lack emotion, as well as the ability to flirt. For a long time, I took the observation as a compliment, for many reasons that deserve another chapter. There was an extended period of time when my emotions clouded logic, such that I didn't seem logical at all. I worked hard this past year to grow beyond that. Now that I have, I'm adapting to consciously remind myself of how much fun feelings are. That's why my childhood dream job was to be a wedding planner. It's the reason Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday, single or not. It’s the reason that I'm a hopeless romantic, and a logical feelings girl.
As a logical feelings girl, I can say with 100% certainty, that life is a fairytale, provided that you choose to embrace the growth mindset and learn the art of patience. I'm still working on the patience part. However, just like in negotiation, fairy tales don’t have finite endings. Life is a series of fairy tales, each with their own climax and happy ending. At least, that's my takeaway from my limited 26 years of experience. As I continue to put life back together— rather, to create life with Unicorns, (pun intended, eventually) I find myself increasingly drawing upon previously learned Ls to propel me to future Ls.
TL;DR: I'm writing my own fairytale. And, its a love story. I have no desire for chaos. I threw a Halloween party on Thursday October, 31st to mark the end of the Chaos Era. Nonetheless, I recognize that the passion and relentlessness with which I pursue goals tends to attract it. That’s of my control.
Disclosure: I'm not seeing anyone at this moment, or this post would be totally weird, given its nature. If you are applying for the role of 'Unicorn' in my life, thank you for reading. Seriously. If you choose to pursue our chances of long-term success are 0.00613%, provided that the feeling is mutual. Who knows though, this might just be OUR romantic love story.
To family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances etc: If you're reading this upon my request, you might be part of the narrative. If that's the case, I appreciate you and the lessons you've taught me. If you have any questions, concerns or ill-will towards me, I encourage you to speak up at your earliest convenience. I promise to do my best to listen wholeheartedly. Let there be peace from future legal battles of any kind, in the event that I'm successful. As I always have, I will continue to protect identities. In the (unprecedented) event that the cohesiveness of the plot or learnings require references, I employ nicknames. With that said, let there be peace from my ridiculously random texts, if applicable.
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